ONE STORY AT A TIME

By Karen Fisher-Alaniz

How to Create a Family Tradition of Story Sharing

My father didn’t begin telling his WWII stories until he was in his 80’s. At the time, I never could have imagined the secrets he’d held onto for so long.  That experience made me aware of all the stories that swirl around us, but remain untold. We can change that - one story at a time. I truly believe that everyone has a story worth telling and a story worth listening to.

Karen's dad in front of his home

Gathering family stories is something that most of us hope to do – someday. But we are busy with our lives. We’re raising kids, caring for our parents, and maintaining a job. We have the best of intentions, but sadly, for some, time will run out while waiting for the perfect moment.

With the holidays fast approaching, now is the time to create a tradition of story sharing that will live on for years to come.  With a little forethought, you can create a family tradition of story sharing that is as synonymous with the holidays as pumpkin pie served with coffee. Whether you have a small family or a large one, creating a tradition is as simple as one, two, three;

Karen and her dad at the Arizona memorial

 1. Create a tradition that fits your family dynamics: This will depend a lot on the ages of your family members. Many families choose to focus on stories of the older generation, such as grandparents. Getting everyone involved makes the tradition more fun, and less work. Perhaps you have teenagers around the holiday table. If so, set up a video camera in a quiet room, and give them a list of questions they can ask.  Maybe you want to give everyone in the family a chance to share. If so, choose a question and ask everyone to take turns answering the question. Young children can help you come up with the questions ahead of time.

 2. Choose a time that conversation naturally occurs: Your family may sit around a large table, enjoying a holiday meal together. Maybe they relax in the family room afterward. Or maybe you enjoy your holiday meal at a favorite restaurant. Carve out a sharing time that fits your family. Choose a time when people are relaxed and chatting naturally.

 3. Honor each story by recording it: Creating a time to share stories is great. But it’s even better if you record them in some way. It can be as simple as starting a tape recorder, taking notes, or using a video camera. The mode doesn’t matter as much as just making sure you do it. Someone can always write the stories up later. For now, just get them recorded in some way. If you need technical help, I highly recommend asking a teenager.

Here are a few questions to get you started;

·       What is your favorite holiday memory?

·       What was your favorite toy when you were little?

·       What games did you play as a child?

·       Who was your favorite teacher and why?

Here are the buy link's for Karen's book, BREAKING THE CODE:

Sourcebooks: http://www.sourcebooks.com/store/breaking-the-code.html

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Code-Daughters-Question-Everything/dp/B008SMCHQW/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351965878&sr=1-1&keywords=breaking+the+code+a+father%27s+secret

Karen Fisher-Alaniz

After many years teaching special education, Karen Fisher-Alaniz began her career as a freelance writer. Her articles were published in regional and teen magazines. Her personal essays have appeared in CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE NURSES SOUL II, and VOICES OF MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS. But when her father gave her more than 400-pages of letters he wrote during WWII, a new journey unfolded. Over the next several years, he slowly revealed a part of him that Ms. Alaniz could never have imagined; one of intrigue, top secret code breaking, and the traumatic loss that triggered symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), more than 50-years after the war. She wrote about the unintended journey of a father and daughter, and eventually the book chronicling their journey was published. Her memoir, BREAKING THE CODE: A FATHER'S SECRET, A DAUGHTER'S JOURNEY, AND THE QUESTION THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING  was published by Sourcebooks on 11/1/11. Her father, now 91, often accompanies his daughter to book events. Ms. Alaniz lives in Walla Walla, Washington with her family. For more information, visit her website at http://www.storymatters2.com .

Thanks for stopping by!

Using Family History As Story Material

Several friends and I use our family history--very loosely, of course--in our historical fiction. My father's family came to Texas in 1877, and that's close to my favorite time period. I love a  story set in Texas between 1870 and 1899. Not that I limit myself to those times. Regency and Victorian England also reel me in as a reader. Victorian America lures me. Contemporary stories in any setting interest me. Ah, but I fall in love with late nineteenth century Texas stories!

Genealogy is one of my hobbies, and I especially love to hear family stories. My friends Jeanmarie Hamilton and Pat Capps Mehaffey also use family history in their writing. Jeanmarie's family are more, um, financially upscale than mine, and settled Castroville, Texas. Pat Mehaffey's ancestors were early Texas settlers and she uses her family history to write children's books and memoirs.

A recent time when I used family history as a kernel for a story was for my novella, LONG WAY HOME in the anthology NORTHERN ROSES AND SOUTHERN BELLES from The Wild Rose Press. That anthology won #6 in the Preditors and Editors 2009 poll and received a 4 Star rating and review from Romantic Times magazine. LONG WAY HOME is set in Northwestern, Georgia, near the Civil War's end. That part of Georgia is where my dad's family lived before moving to Texas. Other than a few descriptions of the fictional town of Witherspoon's buildings (including the old family home), there's no further basis in fact for the story. Except for the heroine's name. Parmelia was a family name in my Johnson line, and Bailey was a surname before it was passed along as a middle name for the Johnson men--which has nothing to do with my cat being named Bailey. LOL.

When writing a historical romance, I find that using family names from that era lends realism to the story. Using a Biblical name is also a safe bet, for those names are popular in any time period.

I'm better at naming characters than I was with our daughters. In retrospect, Hero and I should have chosen family names for them. Due to our common family surname, we went with what we thought were unusual names. Not! Both Darling 1 and Darling 2 ended up being in classrooms full of girls with their first names. At one time we lived next door to a girl the same age and with the same first and last name as Darling 1. We should have named Darling 1 Victoria Elizabeth, because she has turned out to be a devotee of British history. Darling 2 should have been named Kathryn Maeve or Kathryn Josephine. No wonder the American Indians used to wait a while before naming their children. But I digressed. 

Choosing a character's name is important. The name has to fit with the character's strengths and personality. Heroes need strong names with hard consanants. Scots names are always good for an American hero--there are so many Scot-Irish descendants here. In my WIP (work in progress) the heroine is named after my new sister-in-law, Penny Jane. In the upcoming June 4th release, OUT OF THE BLUE, the heroine, Deirdre Dougherty, is from 1845 Ireland and comes forward to present day Texas. She brings her black cat, Cathbad, who was named after a famous Druid priest. Since she is a devout Catholic named after a mythical Celtic heroine, I thought it humorous for her cat to be named after a Druid. (Well, it's funny to me.) The hero, Brendan Hunter is a police detective who has this huge, scruffy mutt named Prince. You can see that even names for pets are important, can't you?

You're saying that OUT OF THE BLUE'S hero's name, Brendan, doesn't fit the criteria for hard consanants. You're so right. However, his first name is part of the story, so you'll have to read the book to figure that out. (Unrepentant plugging of book, here.) Both books are from The Wild Rose Press at www.thewildrosepress.com/

Now, for more on family history as story material. If you saw the old Jack Webb show "Dragnet" you may remember that it started with "New York is a city with eight million stories. This is one of them." Maybe we don't have eight million stories, but each of us has hundreds of stories in his or her past. Whether it's historical or contemporary, those stories provide timeless material. Women with lousy fathers leave to marry a louse. Men who break with tradition and forge a new trail. Women who stood by their men through perilous times. If you don't know your family's history, do yourself and your descendants a favor and start working on it today. You'll be enchanted by the fascinating stories awaiting you!