WHAT IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

Mary Ricksen, author

Mary Ricksen was born in Vermont, but it's cold sooo long, she wants to settle for scenic North Carolina. Mary enjoys the change of seasons. Spring, summer, winter, and fall all have such a unique flavor in North Carolina. However, she moved to Florida in 1980, and in West Palm Beach seasons are just too subtle. Mary moved a lot when she was young, from Canada to New York, and from Texas, to Florida. She met all kinds of people, and truly believes that the more rural the setting is, the more friendly people are. She says she’s been married so long it's like her husband's her left hip, but she'll keep him--he can fix anything!

Her dog Junior is a
 character in her current book

She has a beautiful secret garden, with everything from Plumeria to Penta. Wow, as I sit here freezing in North Central Texas, I wonder what could be better than sitting in a Florida garden with a good book and seeing the palms and ferns wave in the breezes. Winter must be the ideal time to be in Florida. (Wait! I lived in Florida for three years and remember the myriad of snakes in those gardens. On second thought, home is where the heart is, and mine's in Texas.) 

Mary's first book in her Time Can Heal Your Heart series  takes place on Lake Champlain in Vermont--her always home. She says the only thing like the Green Mountains are the Great Smokey's, and a little town called Bryson City, North Carolina that she calls, “My next home, hopefully!”

Available from
The Wild Rose Press

Mary is secretary of the Florida Romance Writers chapter of RWA. Her brand, "Know that love is truly timeless," strikes a chord with me. Her dog Junior appears in her first novel, TRIPPING THROUGH TIME, and there will be more pets in the next book. You Gotta Read Reviews gave her a great review: "Absolutely wonderful! An excellent first novel. Rated:You Gotta Read!" Woohoo, way to go, Mary!


In addition to writing, Mary is famous among romance writers as one of the co-hostesses of the well known Friday blog, Author Roast and Toast, along with Sharon Donovan and Hywela Lyn (and Sharon's butler, Oliver) at http://authorroastandtoast.blogspot.com/. That blog has given many authors a virtual party and an opportunity to publicize the release of their books. Mary's personal blog is http://maryricksen.blogspot.com/ and her website is http://www.maryricksen.com/ And now, Mary, take it away with your post for today:


        What Is Unconditional Love?

We all want it, we all need it. But, do we all find it? Have you ever felt that anyone loved you unconditionally?

Who doesn't
want love?

Who doesn’t want that handsome, sweet talking, sexy guy, to love you with his whole heart? Poets write about it, crooners sing about it, authors pen it, but it’s elusive. We write, and our stories end in happily ever after, because our characters love one another unconditionally.

Does your partner love you unconditionally? It’s about so much more then sex! It’s what makes your lover your best friend. When you know that person will be there for you no matter what. You know that person will tolerate your bad moods. Believe me those power surges of menopause can make you a tad moody.

Woman with a "headache"
reading a book in bed

The pain of that monthly curse can put you into a frenzy. You don’t always want to jump into bed. You might have, say--a headache. Or you might be pe-oed that he left the seat up. You forget to wash off the makeup and wake up looking like a ghoul. But you know that your partner will be there even when you look or act your worst. Or maybe when you start a fight because you feel like yelling. Of course, I never do anything like that. (Mary smiles. She never starts the fights, but she finishes them).

We crave love

The point is, that we crave it. Love fills us up and touches that special part of us. The place inside that makes us romantic. Those of us who write romance try to tell readers how our hero or heroine finds love. The more the conflict the better our tales are when our characters realize they finally sense it.


Unconditional love makes us happy, no matter where it comes from, or who feels it for us. The best example I can think of is my grandmother. At the time I was no more then six years old.

Statue of Liberty
view from ships

My grandmother was an immigrant that came over, “on the boat.” She remembered when she saw the Statue of Liberty. After a long tortuous trip, all the future Americans looked at it in awe. She told me that at that moment she was thinking how special our country really is. Especially after what her family had suffered. She used to say things to me in Polish that I don’t remember. She’d be mortified to know that the only Polish words I know now besides "I love you (Kocham cie)," are curse words. I worked with a girl from Poland, and it sure made my day to be able to say what I thought of my boss to his face, and he had no clue!

Grandma Mongiello

Well anyways… I visited my grandmother often; I was her namesake. To this day I use my middle initial so that up there somewhere, she knows I am still Mary Catherine Mongiello, just like her. Crippled with rheumatoid arthritis, my Gram could not walk without help. Whenever I stayed there I slept with her. She’d hug me all night long.

Gwumkies

One day after a meal of stuffed cabbage, called gwumkies, we went to bed early. All night long I had terrible gas. Cabbage will do that to a body. I mean every ten seconds I’d pass gas. It was awful, and I remember thinking she was sleeping so she’d never know. Well, the next morning she laughed as she told me she was awake most of the night.

I gulped and apologized for my gas bombs.
And she looked at me, totally serious, with the glow of love in her eyes and said, “But I love your farts!”

Now that, my friends, is unconditional love!

Thank you, Mary, a grandmother's love is unconditional. Thanks for sharing with us--the story, not the bombs. LOL

My Grandmother
Reynolds

My own grandmother also demonstrated unconditional love for her each of her children and grandchildren. Her maiden name was Frances Josephine Gamble, and she outlived two husbands: my grandfather John Witt Phifer and Henry Alonzo Reynolds. She was an especially sweet, shy but strong lady who practiced both her mottos, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything," and "Better to keep silent and have people think you're stupid than to open your mouth and convince them you are." If she thought I was being bratty, she'd say, "Pretty is as pretty does." Oh, not that it ever happened, mind you. But if I had been a brat, that's what she'd have said. Yeah, sure, that's what I meant.

Who, me?

The only thing I disliked about her was sleeping with her when she stayed with us while my uncle was in the hospital for six weeks. I was a teen, about junior high or early high school age. She was a snuggler, and would scooch me off the bed. About halfway through the night, I'd have to go around to the other side of the bed. She'd start snuggling again, but just before I rolled off the bed, it would be time to get up and get ready for school. As I said, she was a special lady, and I loved her tremendously even if, as an insular teenager, I didn't want to share my bed with her. Grandmothers put up with a lot, don't they?

What's your idea of unconditional love?