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An Unexpected Gift
"The way I see it, Alec, forgiveness is letting go of all negative emotions and memories; it’s moving on with whatever goodness remains. For years I had punished myself, feeling that if I forgave more, then he would love me and accept me, and I would have more friends, but the truth was, it was never in the cards or in God’s plan. Forgiveness was the life lesson that the Lord wanted me to learn."
Janie felt her heart start to speed up. Adrenaline flooded her system as if on an IV. She thought her heart was going to explode. Her eyes widened trying to focus despite the neon and fluorescent lights. Janie wanted to either run for the hills or crawl under a table. Instead, she stayed close to Alec who was unaware of her current predicament. She wanted desperately to suppress the hammering in her chest, but any attempt would be futile. Janie was overwhelmed and her skin felt clammy and cold. The noise in the pub seemed to be getting louder and louder, leading to humming and buzzing in her ears and drowning out her own thoughts. She placed her hands over her ears and closed her eyes tightly. She began to hyperventilate and moved her hands to her throat to relieve the tightness that was developing there. It was then that Alec took notice.
"Janie, are you okay?"
"NO, NO… I have to go, I have to go, I am so sorry!" Janie turned and ran out the door.
What Alec saw when he really looked at Janie, was that despite shutting off her emotions for self-protection, she was still working on saving, helping, and loving others... in a way that was enhanced by her apparent lack of emotions. Whether it was called autism, or Asperger’s, if people couldn't see her immeasurable love for others then they were truly blind.
The Cape May shore was a graceful sweep of sand, glittering under the spring sun. This was where the placid ocean came to rest. The waves rolled in with a soothing sound. The beachgoers walked along the crest of the dry and wet sand, picking up the seashells that lay every few feet or so. These shells were treasures of an aquatic world just out of reach. The footprints they left behind were soon erased. The sun was high at noon and getting warmer. The aroma of sea air mixed with the smell of fudge coming from the stores on the promenade was as fragrant as it always was and brought back some very comforting memories.
|Krista Grayce, Author|