Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Friday, January 12, 2024

REAL LIFE TO FICTION

By Caroline Clemmons

I’m happy as a new colt to discuss my historical western romance, HIGH STAKES BRIDE, Men of Stone Mountain, Book 2, in print and e-book. Of course, it's also in KU.  

I love this book! And readers have, too. I especially love the heroine—her best intentions sometimes result in near catastrophe. Hmm, reminds me of myself. <G>

 


I developed the premise for this series while visiting the historic Belding-Gibson Ranch in Palo Pinto County, Texas. This is a large ranch, but only a fraction of the original size due to divisions among family members. The original home site stands, added on to over the decades since 1854. The late Barbara Belding Gibson and her husband, Charles Gibson were active in preserving the history of the ranch as well as Palo Pinto County’s history. The occasion of the first opening of their ranch about which I was aware was the release of Barbara’s book about the ranch, PAINTED POLE. I am so happy that I was able to tour this historic property in the beautiful (to me) Palo Pinto Mountains. The Gibsons were good stewards of their heritage. I also am lucky enough to own a copy of PAINTED POLE.

In the first Men of Stone Mountain book, BRAZOS BRIDE, the ranch was the setting for Hope Montoya’s ranch, but with a Spanish-style hacienda instead of a western ranch house. The smaller ranch owned by Micah Stone cozied up to the vast Montoya acreage, but without access to the river. Most ranchers at this time did not use wire to enclose their land, but Hope’s father had fenced in all of his property except that adjoining the Brazos River. When he was murdered, Micah was accused, and barely escaped with his life. For convenience, I slipped in the fictional town of Radford Crossing a few miles away. There are (in my opinion) numerous delightful and a few vicious supporting characters to add humor and danger and pathos to the story.

 In HIGH STAKES BRIDE, Alice Price is on the run from dangerous men. She had known that when her stepfather died, she would have to hurriedly escape her stepbrothers. Hadn’t she heard them promise her to the meanest man in Texas as payment for high stakes gambling losses? One misfortune after another devils her until she links up with Zach Stone. He looks sturdy as his last name and invites her to his ranch where his two aunts will chaperone them. She figures life had finally dealt her a winning hand.

Zach Stone has the sweetest ranch in all of Texas, at least he thinks he does. All he needs is a wife to build his family of boys and girls to carry on his ranch and name. He’s been jilted and vows he will never even speak to a woman again unless she's a relative. Then he comes across Alice Price and comes up with a crazy plan. He’s figured everything out, and is sure nothing can go wrong with his plan.

But life holds surprises for Alice and Zach... 

Doesn’t it always?  Otherwise there’s no book. ☺

Alice Price

HIGH STAKES BRIDE has several incidents based on specific real life events, a first for me. Characters and stories pop into my head unbidden, and I don’t use anything specific from life. I qualify the statement because I believe our subconscious is a pool of combined experiences from our lives and those of people we know or have heard about. In other words, a writer’s muse steals from a writer’s subconscious well.

 For this book, though, several things just fit the plot. The first was an incident that happened to my brother’s fiancée once when she went deer hunting on the day after Thanksgiving. The second combined with the first is in the excerpt below and happened to my neighbor when her bull--who was just being affectionate--pushed her into one of those large round hay bales. Next, I used an historic incident and had a real life hero help my fictional hero. A fourth incident is related to when a friend tried to dye her hair darker and had the same result as Alice.

 If you haven't yet read HIGH STAKES BRIDE and this post has intrigued you, here is the buy link at Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/STAKES-BRIDE-Stone-Mountain-Texas-ebook/dp/B009F7JLTK/

 

Now here’s an excerpt from HIGH STAKES BRIDE:

Zach slipped into the bedroll and waited, pistol in hand. He feigned sleep, wondering what kind of man tarried nearby. Whoever it was could have picked Zach off, so the sidewinder must not have murder on his mind.

Probably up to no good hiding out like that, though, because any Westerner would share his campfire and vittles with anyone who rode into camp. Zach wriggled into a comfortable spot and lay motionless. Anger at recent events helped him remain awake.

The footfalls came so softly he almost missed them. He opened his eyes a slit, but enough to see a thin shadow move toward the fire. About then heavy clouds overhead parted and the moonlight revealed a boy who scooped up a slice of bacon and slid it into his mouth.

The culprit set Zach’s tin plate on the ground near the fire, ladled beans into it, and picked up a fork. He squatted down and balanced the plate on his knees before he commenced eating. Zach noticed he kept his left hand in his pocket the whole time.

Something must be wrong with the thief’s left arm.  Looked too young for it to have been a casualty of the War. Lots of other ways to get hurt out here. Whatever had happened to his left arm, his right one worked well enough. He forked food into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in a week.

Zach let him shovel beans for a few minutes. Crook or not, anyone that hungry deserved a meal. When the kid stopped eating, Zach couldn’t figure out what he was doing.  It looked as if he used the fork to scratch around on the ground, so he must have eaten his fill. Zach slipped his hand from beneath the cover and cocked the pistol.

“Hold it right there, son. I’d like to know why you’re eating without at least a howdy to the man who provided the food.”

The boy paused, then set the plate down slowly. “I left money here on a rock to pay for it.”

Odd sounding voice, but the kid was probably scared. Zach slipped from his bedroll and stood, but kept his gun pointed at the food robber. “Maybe.”

Zach walked toward the kid, careful to train his gaze so the firelight didn’t dim his eyesight. Sure enough, he spotted a couple of coins on the rock beside his pot of beans, or what remained of them, and his empty plate.

He faced the intruder. “Why not just come into camp earlier instead of sneaking in after you thought I was asleep?”

“I—I was afraid you weren’t friendly.”

Zach thought he also heard the kid mutter what sounded like “...or maybe too friendly.” Must be the wind, he thought, as he neared the boy.

Zach motioned with his free hand. “I don’t begrudge anyone food, but I hate dishonesty and sneaking around.  Stand up so I can see you.”

The kid stood, hat low over his face and his good hand clenched.

Zach reached to push the brim back. “What’s your name?”

The kid stepped forward. “None of your business, mister.”

A fistful of sand hit Zach’s face. He heard his assailant run. Mad as the devil, Zach brushed grit from his eyes and set out in pursuit. The kid was fast, he’d give him that, but so was Zach. His longer legs narrowed the distance between them.  With a running lunge, he tackled the kid.

“Oof. Let me go.” The lad was all wriggles and kicking feet as he squirmed trying to escape.

Zach wasn’t about to let that happen. They rolled in the dirt. In one move Zach pinned the boy’s good arm. The hat fell aside and a mass of curls spilled around the kid’s face.

His jacket parted and unmistakable curves pushed upward where Zach’s other hand rested. Zach stared in disbelief. Registering his hand pressed against a heavenly mound shocked him and he jerked his paw away.

“Well, I’ll be damned. You’re not a boy.”

The woman glared at him. “Right, and you’re not exactly a feather. Get off me.”

Zach stood and bent to help her but she curled into a ball where she lay. “Ma’am, you okay?”

“Just dandy.” She sat up, moving like a hundred-year-old. She glared at him while holding her stomach with her good hand. The other arm dangled uselessly. “You’ve likely broken the few uninjured bones I had left.”

His temper flared. “Hey, lady, don’t try to put the blame on me. If you’d been honest and come into camp like any other traveler, I’d have shared my food with you.”

“Yeah, well a woman on her own can’t be too careful and I don’t know you or anything about you.”

Zach saw her point. Though most Western men would respect a woman, it wouldn’t help if she ran into one of the exceptions.

“What’s wrong with your arm?”

She glared at him and appeared to debate with herself before she said, “Fell out of a tree. My arm caught in the fork of a branch. Pulled it out of socket and I can’t get it back.”

Well hell. As if he didn’t have enough on his mind. Now that he’d decided not to speak to another woman unrelated to him, this bundle of trouble showed up needing a keeper.

Resigning himself to one more stroke of bad luck, he said, “Take off your coat and come over here to my bedroll.”

The campfire sparked less than her eyes. “I’ll do no such of a thing. Don’t be thinking you can take liberties because I ate your food and I’m injured. I paid for the food.”

Zach exhaled and planted his fists on his hips. “Ma’am, there’s not enough money in Texas to pay me to take liberties with you. If you’ll move to my bedroll and lie down, I’ll put your arm back in place. You’ll likely have to take off your, um, your shirt.”

She looked him up and down as if she weighed him and found him lacking. “I figured you for a rancher. You a doctor then?”

“Ranchers have to know a good bit about patching people.”

She straightened herself and swished past him as if she wore a ball gown instead of a man’s torn britches. Watching the feminine sway of her hips as she sashayed to the other side of the campfire, he wondered how he ever mistook her for male. He followed her and tried not to appreciate her long legs or the way the fabric molded to them like a second skin.

When she reached the blasted bedroll he’d been stuck with, she slid out of her jacket. A grimace of pain flashed across her face as the weight of the light coat slipped down her injured arm. In one graceful move she plopped down on the bedroll.

“You’re sure you can do this?” she asked and looked up at him.

Flickering firelight placed her features in shadow. Moving closer, he figured the poor light played tricks on him, for he couldn't tell the color of her hair. He decided she had light brown or dark blonde curls. Whatever color her eyes were, maybe blue or green, they were big and watched him with suspicion.

“Yes. Sorry, I don’t have any spirits with me to deaden the pain.”

“I never touch alcohol. If you’re sure you can do this, just get on with it.” She unbuttoned her shirt and winced as she slid the injured shoulder and arm free, and then stuck her chin up as if she dared him to make an improper comment or gesture.

He knelt beside her, keenly aware of the differences that proved her womanhood. A chemise of fabric worn so thin as to be almost transparent pulled taut across her breasts. He swallowed and willed himself to ignore the dark circles surrounding the pearly peaks thrusting at the flimsy material. The memory of the lush mound he’d touched briefly wouldn’t leave him. He’d been alone too long and had better concentrate on the job at hand.

“Stretch out and try to relax. I’ll be as gentle as I can, but this will hurt.”

“Hurts already, but I better put my bandana in my mouth so I don’t scream. I’m not a whiner, mind, but wouldn’t want to draw attention if there’s others nearby.” She slipped the cloth knotted around her neck up to her mouth like a gag, then laid down.

She moaned but didn’t fight him. Zach had seen this done numerous times over the years and had performed it twice. He probed her shoulder gently, then rotated her arm to slip it back into place.

He listened for the snick of the bone reseating itself in the socket. When he finished, he massaged the muscles of her upper arm and shoulder. She’d likely be sore for weeks, but the harm she had done wasn’t permanent.

“Have to give it to you, ma’am. You were the quietest patient I’ve ever seen.”

She lay with her face turned away from him. When he leaned over, he realized she’d passed out.

 

And it’s no wonder, is it?

Stay safe and keep reading!

Friday, February 04, 2022

COVER REVEAL

By Caroline Clemmons

Isn’t this an adorable cover? V. McKevitt of Black Widow Designs created it to perfectly fit my book, DEATH IN THE PERFECT HOUSE. Zoe Wilder works for the local newspaper and writes cozy mysteries. Perhaps because she writes about them, she sees a mystery where there may not be one. She’s been a thorn in the side of the Spencer’s Ridge Sheriff’s Office for several years. But, this time she is positive her friend Margo Kingsley was murdered.


When she is unsuccessful in convincing the investigating officer Margo was murdered, she decides to find the killer herself. Lucky for her (and the sheriff’s department) a new Chief Deputy is hired from Fort Worth, Caleb McBride. He launches an investigation into the death. He also warns Zoe to butt out of his business. Zoe doesn’t intend to take a chance that he’s just going through the motions to appease Margo’s daughter, who’s come from San Francisco.

The killer turns his or her rage toward Zoe. Will the murderer be captured before Zoe is the next victim?

I don’t want to spoil the suspense, but this is the first of the Zoe Wilder cozy mystery series. I have more books planned. This one will launch later this month on February 25th. Check back then for more details!

 

Monday, May 18, 2020

SINGLE CHICAS



This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Sandra C. Lopez will be awarding a $15 Amazon or B/N GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour! The book is free during the tour! Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.


Single Chicas is a collection of stories about modern Latinas being in, out, and around the zany hurdles of relationships.
One woman receives strange calls from a lonely soul, another seeks advice on how to love herself, and another wakes up in a parallel universe to a man she's never met. These chicas will make painstaking effort to survive the complexities with humor and grace.

Once again, López dazzles audiences with her brilliantly candid craft. Smart, witty, and funny, these stories will explore the true endurance of singlehood.

Read the Excerpt

I'll never forget the day my brother gave me a stroke. Of course, being that he was my little brother, a stroke should've been classified a recurring condition by then. Instead, the most he had ever given me was a chronic eye twitch, which, now that I think about it, may have been an indicator of an on-coming stroke. But, yes, it was definitely a stroke I had when Benito (I always called him Benny) came over that day to tell me he was getting married.

My brain blew a short and my whole body went numb. I think, at one point, the world before me was engulfed in a white flash, and then somehow I ended up on the floor. When I finally got the feeling back in my jaw, the only thing I could muster to say was: "Are you a moron?" The clear answer was "yes." He was a moron. Getting married? Was he out of his freaking mind? Oh, hell yeah! Let's put aside that he was only 19, not even old enough to drink, for god sakes; let's put aside that he'd only known the girl for 6 months, at most; let's even put aside how annoying the girl was and how I couldn't stand her. Why in the hell would he want to hang himself like that? Had he forgotten that marriage is basically a prison? Had he not paid attention to all the disaster stories I'd told him? Broken marriages from all around the table, starting with our parents and going all the way to our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, to damn near everyone else we knew. It all ended the same: divorce, the blissful release from a life sentence.

"Why, Benny, why?"

"Oh, Bea, don't you even start," he retorted with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I don't want to hear your putdowns on marriage…again. I've heard them over and over and over."

"Well, have you heard that marriages basically suck the big weenie?"

"I believe I did hear that from you, yes."

"Well, then tell me why? Why the fuck would you do something like that!?" Oh, I could feel my poor blood pressure rising. Good grief, the boy was going to give me a heart attack. I tried taking in a few calming breaths, but the whole thing was basically useless. I was in total freak-out mode. "C’mon, Benny, tell me, please, because I'm not understanding here. What, did she pull that voodoo-hoodoo crap on you? Did you crack your head on something? Have you just completely lost your mind? C'mon, you gotta give me something here."

With an easy shrug, he said, "Oh...you know."

"No, I don't know!" Okay...one, two, three...breathe. I shot him a stern glance and asked directly, "Did you knock her up?"

He looked at me accusingly, his dark eyes narrowing. "You would think that, wouldn't you?"

"Well, I don't know what else to think."

Benny shook his head with a petulant eye roll. I know that eye roll. It's the same one he pulls whenever someone tells him to pick up his socks or wash his hands. In a huff, he simply stated, "No. I didn't knock her up."

"Then why?"

"Because she's just..."

"What? Say something."

"You know..." At a loss for words, he paused then added, "she's just so...you know...great."

A literary master at work here. "Great? What's so great about her?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"That's a good answer," I inserted wryly.

"Well, I can't think with all these questions," he snapped.

"I'm sorry, do you need a minute? I mean, I know I'm throwing really hard questions at you. Worse than poking your nose or scratching your balls, evidently."

"Why you gotta be like that, huh?"

"Hey, I'm not the one ruining my life here. I'm not the one going after those little titties."

Pulling his "talk to the hand" gesture, Benny turned to walk away.


About the Author


Sandra C. López is a writer, artist, blogger, and book reviewer. She is one of today's funny and influential authors in YA and chick lit. Her first novel, Esperanza, was published in March 2008 WHILE she was still in college. Her most recent and bestselling book is Single Chicas, a collection of humorous short stories about zany chicas. She is currently working on the next installment of the Single Chicas series called Holiday Chicas. Release date coming soon! When not writing her stories, Sandra supports the art and literary communities with freelance work and book promotion.

Website: http://www.sandra-lopez.com

Book Review Blog: http://sandrasbookclub.blogspot.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SandraLopezAuthorArtist/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ArtistSandraL


Purchase Links: https://www.amazon.com/Single-Chicas-Sandra-C-Lopez-ebook/dp/B01KG85F1Y/





Please note: The book is free during the tour.


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Friday, November 09, 2018

PAR FOR CINDERELLA



Par for Cinderella
The Cinderella Romances Book 3
by
Petie McCarty

Genre: Contemporary Romance 

Billionaire Aidan Cross longs to escape his life of celebrity and become a
regular guy, if only for a brief time. His chance comes when his
yacht breaks down near quaint Cypress Key, Florida—the site of his
planned five-star golf resort. The golf resort no one in town wants.


Casey Stuart has given up her dream of escaping to the big city. She
refuses to desert her uncle, even when he hires the new stranger in
town to replace her at their golf course. Casey vows to steer clear
of the stranger called Aidan and the danger their inescapable
chemistry provokes. Aidan’s stay is temporary, and falling for him
promises only heartbreak.

When Casey discovers Cypress Key’s mayor is making underhanded business
deals, she ends up on the wrong side of the powerful autocrat. Aidan
steps in to rescue her, but secrets from his past threaten to bogey
their newfound relationship.




PAR FOR CINDERELLA Excerpt:

The tour boat docked at the actual Cypress Key—safely and comfortably with no rocking or bumping, thanks to him—for a self-guided walking tour of the remnants of the original seventeenth-century settlement. According to Casey, original foundations could be seen as well as the settlement’s graveyard. The small island key had supported a small but thriving population until typhoid fever decimated the entire group of residents.

Aidan would have liked to see the island, but Casey informed him he had to stay on board should any guests return for a soft drink or a snack. She then pulled out a satchel from under the bow and did tour company paperwork until their guests returned.And ignored him completely.

He disliked the ignoring even more than the bossing, so he flirted with the two appreciative vacationers on the return trip just for spite. And as payback, Casey had him stand at the exit gangway at the end of the tour and hold the tips jar, feeling mortified when guests stuffed ones or a rare five-dollar bill in it and patted his arm or his hand. One fiftyish woman patted his butt, and he swore he heard Casey snort from her seat at the front of the boat.

To even things out, he allowed the two flirters to kiss his cheek on their way down the gangway, and he smirked at Casey after each girl tucked a ten in the jar.

He busied himself putting the boat back the way they’d found it that morning: checking the gas gauge, returning the drinks and snacks to their respective waterproof compartments in the boat. Aidan emptied the cooler’s ice over the side and returned the container to the large storage compartment at the stern. All without any comment from Casey.

At last finished with his menial tasks, Aidan waited for her at the gangway, so she could lock the gate in the boat railing for departure. When she reached his side, he handed her the stupid tip jar, gritting his teeth again at the memory of the retirement-aged fellow who’d said, “You like doing this for a living?”

Aidan made a mental note to double all his tips in the future wherever they may be.

Casey pushed the jar back at him. “No, these are yours. You earned them, tour captain.”

Which would have been nice if she hadn’t smirked.
Smirked! Talk about adding insult to injury.

He hated when she smirked at him. No, that wasn’t true. She made him want to kiss every smirk right off her beautiful face. Just because he could.

“Put it on my bail tab,” he snapped and stepped onto the gangway.

“Suit yourself,” she said cheerfully, then pocketed the cash from the jar and locked the gate. Ten steps down the dock, she stopped. “I forgot my satchel. Would you get it for me?”

He checked for a smirk—didn’t see one—and trudged back to the boat, then vaulted over the rail. 

When he returned the satchel to her, their hands brushed and her gaze shot to his face.

There had been a definite spark at their touch. He damn sure felt the sizzle. He stared into her eyes, wide green-emerald pools of innocence now. No devilment, not a smirk in sight.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her gaze still riveted to his.

Like being tugged with unseen hands, he eased toward the emerald eyes holding the lure or promise of something he suddenly needed. Desperately. Unlike the wild, needy connection on the runabout, this kiss started as a light brush of lips. He tested the waters. Tasted the promise of pleasure before settling more firmly to tease her lips apart with the tip of his tongue. Her eyes aroused him; her scent aroused him; and God knew her sweet taste aroused him.

He shouldn’t kiss her again. He knew it. That way lay disaster.

His control slipped.

And then he was slipping.

As Casey shoved him back.

Into the marina.





Petie McCarty spent a large part of her career working at Walt Disney World -- "The
Most Magical Place on Earth" -- where she enjoyed working in the
land of fairy tales by day and creating her own romantic fairy tales
by night, including her new series, The Cinderella Romances. She
eventually said good-bye to her "day" job to write her
stories full-time. These days Petie spends her time writing sequels
to her regency time travel series, Lords in Time, and her
cozy-mystery-with-a-dash-of-romantic-suspense series, the Mystery
Angel Romances.


Petie shares her home on the Cumberland Plateau in Tennessee with her
horticulturist husband, a spoiled-rotten English Springer spaniel
addicted to pimento-stuffed green olives, and a noisy Nanday conure
named Sassy who made a cameo appearance in Angel to the Rescue.






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for exclusive content and a giveaway!



Monday, January 22, 2018

POKING LOVING FUN AT JANE AUSTEN!



Humor / Satire
Date Published: September 2017

 photo add-to-goodreads-button_zpsc7b3c634.png


What college girl doesn’t dream of meeting Mr. Darcy? Lizzie was certainly no exception. But when Darcy Fitzwilliam comes into her life, he turns out to be every bit as aggravating as Elizabeth Bennett’s Fitzwilliam Darcy. So what’s a modern girl to do?




JANE AUSTEN LIED TO ME Excerpt:

Well! That was interesting. My roommate invited me along to this frat party she was going to. She went through something called rush week, and she is now pledged to a sorority. She said the frats are less formal than the sororities, and even though I wasn’t a pledge I could go with her. I figured, why not, it should be fun, right?

I got to meet the guy she’s chasing. I couldn’t blame her for being interested. He’s cute, and sweet, and considerate, and a total people-pleaser. One of his parents must be the demanding sort who is never happy.

He introduced us to his friend… whose name is Darcy Fitzwilliam! I wasn’t sure at first that the guy wasn’t just pulling our legs.

“Your mother obviously loves Jane Austen,” I laughed.

“Obviously,” he answered. Not much to go by.

“I love Pride and Prejudice,” I continued.

“I hate Pride and Prejudice,” I can only describe the look he was giving me as hostile.

“I think you will find yourself very much in a minority,” I answered, returning his look with one of my own.

We didn’t talk any more that night. Talk about getting off on the wrong foot!


Jeanette Watts’ satire pokes loving fun at Jane and all of us who worship the characters who shall forever be our romantic ideals.



About the Author



Jeanette Watts, Author



Jeanette Watts had been writing historic fiction when the inspiration for Jane Austen Lied to Me hit her on the drive home from the Jane Austen Festival. The idea was simply irresistible, and she put aside other writing projects in order to focus on writing a satire, thinking it would be a "mental vacation." It turned out to take every bit as much research to write a modern story as it does to write a historical one.

She has written television commercials, marketing newspapers, stage melodramas, four screenplays, three novels, and a textbook on waltzing.  When she isn’t writing, she teaches social ballroom dances, refinishes various parts of her house, and sews historical costumes. She has just relocated to Charlotte, North Carolina and is loving her new home town.

Contact Links

Website   





Purchase Links

Amazon  


Monday, April 10, 2017

NOT A PERFECT FIT IS A BOOK OF HUMOROUS, HEARTWARMING STORIES



Not A Perfect Fit
by
Jane A. Schmidt
Genre:
Heartwarming Humorous Short Stories
Not a Perfect Fit is a collection of stories that are laugh-out-loud
funny one minute and thought-provoking the next. Stories range from
Schmidt’s experience living off-grid as the only English woman in
an Amish neighborhood to family trips that are remarkably similar to
National Lampoon’s Vacation. Through it all, she manages to rise
above the many challenges she faces—inspiring and entertaining her
audience along the way. Filled with animal antics, gratitude,
mishaps, and madcap adventures, Not a Perfect Fit’s tell-all,
single-girl-gone-country, down-home stories give readers permission
to laugh and cry—and, most important, to carry on.


An Interview with Jane

1. When did you make the move from the city to rural Wisconsin? Why? 

I moved to the Driftless area of Wisconsin after the hype of the millennium in 2000. I spent a lot of time driving in the country when my daughter was small. I'd see an old cabin or a house that was falling apart and I'd think, if only I could buy that place. My dreams were of land, out-buildings, animals, and a quiet country life. I longed to get out of the city and live closer to the land, where I felt I’d have more room for living.

2. How did moving to rural Wisconsin impact your life? 

The impact was huge. I had to start all over. I had no friends here, no job, and after a couple of months I was living off-grid. The learning curve was not only steep but sometimes dangerous. I cooked with a head-lamp on in order to see. The “hot plate” was connected to a propane tank under my cabin. I lived in fear every time I lit a match. I thought I'd blow myself and the cabin up. Every day I learn something new. Like don't use the John Deere mower to blaze a hiking trail through your Amish neighbor’s hay field. Before moving here I spent all my free time getting away. I'd drive to the parks, small country towns, lakes, and rivers. I was camping out every chance I had. Now I live in the kind of areas I was always running too. I can finally slow down and walk!

3. What is your favorite part about living in the country? Is there anything you miss about city
life? 

I lived in apartments before moving to this area. I love the freedom of living alone, surrounded
by trees and my animal family. Coming from apartment city living to my own home in the country
is liberating. I feel I can live-out-loud better here. I miss ethnic restaurants, my family, and the many
lakes I lived near when in the Milwaukee area.

4. How does your passion for fitness and wellness influence your stories? 

My passion for a life lived outside has influenced my interest in fitness and wellness. I knew from the get-go that I needed to stay fit and healthy to live the life I wanted to. My stories revolve around my life. My
passion for fitness and wellness is reflected in them.

5. Why do you think readers connect with your stories? 

My stories are real. I talk about everyday happenings that some people would never admit to. Reading about walking through an airport with toilet paper hanging off my rear end or mixing up the words circumcise and circumnavigate allows people to relax and find the humor in their own lives. In the end, we're all just people trying to do the best that we can. Not a Perfect Fit reeks of humanness.



JANE A. SCHMIDT is a columnist and the owner of two businesses, Fitness
Choices and Turtle Adventures. When not teaching her fitness classes
or encouraging women to get outside, she spends her time backpacking
in places like the Grand Canyon, Superior Hiking Trail, and Isle
Royale National Park; biking across Wisconsin; hiking and kayaking in
the Kickapoo Valley Reserve; or just hanging out with her animal
family in rural Viola, Wisconsin.



Monday, October 24, 2016

RICH AMOOI'S NEW ROMANTIC COMEDY--COFFEE, TEA OR ME

coffee-tea-or-me




Coffee, Tea or Me by Rich Amooi


Susie opens a tea shop next to Jack’s coffee shop and the war begins.

Jack Robbins has a booming coffee business, an eighty-year old customer who can’t keep his clothes on, and a rescue Chihuahua named Chimichanga that likes to kiss on the mouth. Life is good until the new business next door takes a bite out of his sales.

Susie McKenna has the new tea shop everyone is talking about, an over-protective brother, and a stubborn, good-looking neighbor who is trying to steal her customers.

Things really start to percolate when Jack and Susie both volunteer to help plan the downtown festival. They have to work together and soon Jack won't be able to get by without his daily fix of Susie. But can a coffee lover and a tea devotee put their competition aside to get their happily ever after?


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Praise for Coffee, Tea or Me


"Fun, fun, and more fun!"


"Sweet, heartwarming and good for the soul!"


"Always funny, always entertaining."


"A sweet romantic comedy."





rich
Author Rich Amooi

Rich Amooi is a former Silicon Valley radio personality and wedding DJ who now writes romantic comedies full-time. He is happily married to a kiss monster imported from Spain. Rich believes in public displays of affection, silliness, infinite possibilities, donuts, gratitude, laughter, and happily ever after.
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Friday, July 15, 2016

INTERVIEW WITH LINDA O'CONNOR #Romanticidea


Through online networking, I’ve met some truly interesting authors. Linda O’Connor is one of these and I’m so pleased she consented to an interview for today.

Please tell us about growing up. Share anything that lets readers get to know the real you.

I haven’t always been an author –I’ve been a physician for a lot longer! I work part-time at a clinic, but I also spent many years teaching clinical skills to medical students. As part of that job, I wrote a lot of roles for the standardized patients (actors portraying patients). That was great experience for character development in my stories! I grew up in Carlisle, a small town in Ontario, attended university in Toronto, lived in Ottawa, and settled in Kingston. Lots of info for a variety of settings! 

Who are your favorite authors and favorite genres?

My favourite genre is romance because I love the happily-ever-after endings. I’m usually reading for relaxation so I enjoy any lighthearted, fun read. My favourite romance author is Nora Roberts. I also really enjoyed Priceless by Marne Davis Kellogg and Garlic and Sapphires by Ruth Reichl. Graeme Simsion’s two Rosie books are very funny!

When you’re not writing, what’s your favorite way to relax and recharge?

Zumba. I love dancing. Not that I’ve ever taken any formal lessons, but it hasn’t mattered! I really love being outdoors too, so if it’s a day without a Zumba class, I’ll go cycling or cross-country skiing.

How long have you been writing?

I’ve been writing for about 5 years now. The first manuscript took about nine months to write. I loved that I could take my time and as the story unfolded in my mind, write it down. Now it takes closer to three months (and fewer dinners are made along the way).

Where do you prefer to write?

My house is on the water, so when I’m writing, I usually sit where I can watch
the waves on the lake and listen to them lap (or crash wildly) onto shore, which is very relaxing. When the weather is warm, I’ll write outside. I prefer silence. When I hear music, I like to get up and dance!

Are you a plotter or a panzer?

I start with an idea for the beginning, middle, and end of the story and then develop the characters. I try to get to know them very well, and I have to nail down their names. Male names are the hardest because I don’t want to use my sons’ names or the names of any of their friends. It has to be a completely new person in my head and not remind me of anyone (kind of like naming a child!). I’ve tried to make a detailed plot outline, but the characters often do something unexpected and it goes off the rails. Usually by the fifth chapter I can start to outline in more detail.

Do you do your research before you begin a new project, or as you go along?

It depends. If I need to research something about the character - like their job or hobby, I'll research before I write. But it’s not unusual to do more research along the way, depending how the story unfolds.

Tell us about your writing schedule. Do you set goals? Do you write daily?

I set aside two days a week to write without interruption. And it’s protected time – no meetings, no repairmen, no lunch dates – maybe a scheduled UPS delivery, but that’s about it. I work part-time at an Urgent Care Clinic, and on the days I work at the clinic, I’ll edit or write blog posts. If I have time on the other afternoons, I’ll sit and write then, too.

One of the things I love most about writing is being able to write at whatever pace I choose. As a kid, I always found it tough to come up with a story when the teacher asked because I had too many thoughts racing around in my head and needed time to mull it over. Luckily, now I have time to mull it over! So I don’t get too wound up about completing a certain number of words a day. Lately, I’ve tried to complete a novel within a season. It’s easier to keep the characters and storyline details in my head if it’s a shorter timeline.

Tell us something about yourself that might surprise readers.

I don't drink coffee. (Luckily chocolate has caffeine. :D)

What do you hope your writing brings to readers?

I hope that readers will laugh, relax, enjoy the stories I’ve written, and maybe learn something too!

What advice would you give to unpublished authors?

Finish 2-3 novels before you start querying publishers. Once you're published, and it will happen, you will invest a lot of time in marketing and promotion. Having a backlist of 2-3 stories will make life a lot easier.

My #Romantic idea:
Roasting marshmallows together around a campfire!

Tell us about your latest release.

The blurb for PERFECTLY PLANNED:

Perfectly Planned
She has it all Perfectly Planned . . .

Chloe Keay is on the hunt for the perfect sperm donor, but who knew it would be this hard? So many things to consider in a father – sure height and hair color are important, but what about the real issues. How does he feel about bagpipe music? Does he buy the extended warranty? Skittles or M&Ms? She doesn’t want an average Joe. She’s narrowed it down to two candidates and has the perfect plan to pick the heir and the spare.

Staff Sergeant Rip Logan, head of the elite Tactics and Rescue Unit, has a gut feeling that Chloe Keay is trouble. She’s a sexy little spark plug who radiates innocence, but it doesn’t jibe with her suspicious behavior and probing questions. The fact that he’s attracted irritates him. What exactly is she after? And should he go with his gut or follow his heart?

Planning for love – what could possibly go wrong?



Excerpt from PERFECTLY PLANNED:

For pretty much everything her parents needed, from house repairs to health questions, they had a child on speed-dial. And bonus, funds flowed freely to pay for their place in a retirement home.
Perfectly planned.
That’s the kind of retirement plan she was after. Maybe not six kids. Six was a bit of a handful, especially flying solo. But she could handle one, at least to begin with.
It would’ve been easier with Roger, but oh well, on to Plan B.
Sperm bank.
She had been poked and prodded and deemed a healthy receptacle.
But, oh how to choose which little swimmers to let loose? She needed smart (had to earn the big bucks), features similar to hers (hair color notwithstanding), family oriented (obviously had to love their momma), and not too nasally a voice (very annoying). They needed to be screened for reverse traits—ones that would make her wish she could reverse the whole process.
She needed more than the measly amount of info available online.
No problem. She had applied for a job as a weekend receptionist at the sperm bank, interviewed quite successfully (naturally), and waited patiently while they narrowed down their selection.
She had started three weeks ago.
The job was straightforward, certainly not as creative as painting. In fact, it was kinda slow. She liked the music in the waiting room, though, especially with her mouse clicking. She could get quite a beat going. Left click. Right click. Left-right-right click. She could see it catching on. In fact, it should be posted on YouTube because it’d give her something to watch at work, too.
She hadn’t lost sight of her plan, but it wasn’t obvious where all the data was stored. She had opened several files, but it wasn’t until she rocked and clicked to The Jaded Gentlemen, that lo and behold, the folder popped up.
Now, she wasn’t a computer genius or anything, but who uses 1234 as their password? You’d think all that confidential information about sperm donors would be behind a bigger firewall. Nope.
So, her two top matches now had names.
4652 Ripley Logan
2485 Jared Clayton
A few social media clicks later, and voilà, she set up friend requests with both.Even better, it looked like Ripley’s baseball team had a rain-date game on Friday, seven o’clock, right here in Rivermede at Fairfield Park.
He was sporty. She clicked a happy beat.
She could go to the game and check him out. Try to learn more about him, but keep it quiet, fly under the radar.
She spun around in her chair and smiled. Perfect.



How can readers learn more about you?


Linda O’Connor started writing a few years ago when she needed a creative outlet other than subtly rearranging the displays at HomeSense. It turns out she loves writing romantic comedies and has a few more stories to tell. When not writing, she’s a physician at an Urgent Care Clinic (well, even when she is writing she’s a physician, and it shows up in her stories J). She hangs out at www.lindaoconnor.net.