NOT A PERFECT FIT IS A BOOK OF HUMOROUS, HEARTWARMING STORIES

Not A Perfect Fit

by
Jane A. Schmidt

Genre:
Heartwarming Humorous Short Stories

Not a Perfect Fit is a collection of stories that are laugh-out-loud
funny one minute and thought-provoking the next. Stories range from
Schmidt’s experience living off-grid as the only English woman in
an Amish neighborhood to family trips that are remarkably similar to
National Lampoon’s Vacation. Through it all, she manages to rise
above the many challenges she faces—inspiring and entertaining her
audience along the way. Filled with animal antics, gratitude,
mishaps, and madcap adventures, Not a Perfect Fit’s tell-all,
single-girl-gone-country, down-home stories give readers permission
to laugh and cry—and, most important, to carry on.

Goodreads
* Amazon

An Interview with Jane

1. When did you make the move from the city to rural Wisconsin? Why? 

I moved to the Driftless area of Wisconsin after the hype of the millennium in 2000. I spent a lot of time driving in the country when my daughter was small. I'd see an old cabin or a house that was falling apart and I'd think, if only I could buy that place. My dreams were of land, out-buildings, animals, and a quiet country life. I longed to get out of the city and live closer to the land, where I felt I’d have more room for living.

2. How did moving to rural Wisconsin impact your life? 

The impact was huge. I had to start all over. I had no friends here, no job, and after a couple of months I was living off-grid. The learning curve was not only steep but sometimes dangerous. I cooked with a head-lamp on in order to see. The “hot plate” was connected to a propane tank under my cabin. I lived in fear every time I lit a match. I thought I'd blow myself and the cabin up. Every day I learn something new. Like don't use the John Deere mower to blaze a hiking trail through your Amish neighbor’s hay field. Before moving here I spent all my free time getting away. I'd drive to the parks, small country towns, lakes, and rivers. I was camping out every chance I had. Now I live in the kind of areas I was always running too. I can finally slow down and walk!

3. What is your favorite part about living in the country? Is there anything you miss about city

life? 

I lived in apartments before moving to this area. I love the freedom of living alone, surrounded

by trees and my animal family. Coming from apartment city living to my own home in the country

is liberating. I feel I can live-out-loud better here. I miss ethnic restaurants, my family, and the many

lakes I lived near when in the Milwaukee area.

4. How does your passion for fitness and wellness influence your stories? 

My passion for a life lived outside has influenced my interest in fitness and wellness. I knew from the get-go that I needed to stay fit and healthy to live the life I wanted to. My stories revolve around my life. My

passion for fitness and wellness is reflected in them.

5. Why do you think readers connect with your stories? 

My stories are real. I talk about everyday happenings that some people would never admit to. Reading about walking through an airport with toilet paper hanging off my rear end or mixing up the words circumcise and circumnavigate allows people to relax and find the humor in their own lives. In the end, we're all just people trying to do the best that we can. Not a Perfect Fit reeks of humanness.

JANE A. SCHMIDT is a columnist and the owner of two businesses, Fitness
Choices and Turtle Adventures. When not teaching her fitness classes
or encouraging women to get outside, she spends her time backpacking
in places like the Grand Canyon, Superior Hiking Trail, and Isle
Royale National Park; biking across Wisconsin; hiking and kayaking in
the Kickapoo Valley Reserve; or just hanging out with her animal
family in rural Viola, Wisconsin.

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Hosted
by Silver Dagger Book Tours

RAWHIDE 'N ROSES, NEW ANTHOLOGY OF WESTERN SHORT STORIES!

Yee Haw! Authors of RAWHIDE 'N ROSES are hosting a Facebook Barn Dance Join authors and readers Saturday 10:00 am Pacific Time until our gang is too tuckered out to keyboard and again on Saturday from High Noon until supper time here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1471888149698013/

 

 

Jacquie Rogers covers it all at http://cowboykisses.blogspot.com today. Hope to see you at the Barn Dance!

HOW YOU LEAVE TEXAS, BY ALANA CASH

HOW YOU LEAVE TEXAS

By

Alana Cash

 How You Leave Texas is a volume of three short stories and a novella about four young women who leave Midland, Austin, Fort Worth and Mayville, Texas for New York, California, Jakarta, and in one instance, jail.  They seek escape from boredom and sorrow and find it.  The stories are hilarious, tragic, revelatory.

EXCERPT:

Dam Broke – after high school graduation, two quirky best friends reveal big secrets.

In sixth grade, I abandoned the reading glasses for a blond wig and a fake mole above my top lip. Mickey started wearing sunglasses indoors and carrying business cards.

Camille’s Net Worth – on her 40th birthday, Camille’s life falls apart in uncontrolled demolition.  Life improves when she gets a job creating art paper and returns to painting.  But the plot twists and she ends up in jail, laughing.

“I’m not going to spend much time repeating myself,” Camille said, “I want you to remove whatever you want to keep from this house. You can store your stuff in a rental truck if you need to until you find a new home, but you will be gone from here by midnight and never return.”

“You can’t do that!”

“If you are not gone by midnight, I will set fire to the house.”

Krystal’s Wedding – Heading for New York, Krystal leaves behind her shoddy family in Midland, Texas. Ill-prepared for the culture shock and expense, she takes a few slippery steps before she finds true independence.

Krystal’s family wasn’t an American success story. Mom felt like life had cheated her since Daddy never made any real money and spent most nights getting drunk at the Welcome Inn. Erin never finished beauty school and worked at a donut shop.  Bethany worked as a bar-back at the Rusty Nail and was turning out like Daddy. Alcoholic, back-slapping, charming. Eddie Garthwaite, owner of Garthwaite Used Cars located on Interstate 20 between Midland and Odessa. Eddie Garthwaite who currently had his driver’s license suspended because of a DUI.

Frying Your Burger (based on a true story) – Nicky and her friends spend mornings slinging repartee in a coffee shop.  While paying a traffic fine, she meets a director and soon finds herself a pawn for two directors trying to ruin each other’s careers.

I went into the room marked Cashier and got into a long line. And there he was. Grinning that grin. He should have had a license for it. It was that bright. I stood next to him in my white t-shirt and white pants looking like someone straight out of the “hospital orderly fashion catalogue.” It was all I had clean that day.

HOW YOU LEAVE TEXAS is available in print and e-book from Hacienda Press and at Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/How-Leave-Texas-Alana-Cash/dp/097039229X/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374062949&sr=1-3&keywords=Alana+Cash

Alana Cash

Alana Cash is an adventurer.  She’s trekked alone through war-torn Serbia and has slept in a KGB interrogation room in Prague.  She’s been to a gypsy fair in rural England, a bullfight in Laredo, and parasailing in Acapulco.  She’s been inside the New York Stock Exchange and eaten in J. Pierpont Morgan’s home dining room.  She's gone on a ride-along in a New York City patrol car and kissed a man inside the Norman Bates Psycho house at Universal Studios.  She’s been a lifeguard, legal secretary, accountant, writer, teacher, filmmaker and artist. Alana'a HOW YOU LEAVE TEXAS placed first place in the Short Story category of the GLOBAL BOOK CONTEST 2013

Her experiences are inspiration for her work as an acclaimed writer and filmmaker. 

• She was one of 60 US teachers profiled on the PBS series, "A Writer's Exchange," for her talent as a teacher at the University of Texas Informal Classes  - many of her students published and won writing awards
• Her feature film, "Tom's Wife," based on her novel of the same name, won awards all over the world
• Her documentary "Anna Freud: Under Analysis," part of documentary trilogy on women in science, was translated into German for broadcast in Austria, Germany & Switzerland

Thanks for stopping by!  

CHERYL PIERSON SHARES HER SHORT STORIES

Cheryl Pierson

I couldn’t let another day go by as we rush into fall without showing off my new “stand alone” short stories. Let me tell you why I’m so excited about these stories.


First of all, I love to read and write short stories as well as novels. In today’s world, short stories are growing increasingly popular because they can be finished in one sitting, usually. Publishing by Rebecca J. Vickery, and her imprints, Western Trail Blazer and Victory Tales Press, have been a fantastic source of anthologies and “stand alone” short stories in today’s growing market.

The anthologies are themed anthologies, based upon a season or holiday. The stories that are contracted for those anthologies cannot be reprinted anywhere else for six months. But, when their “time” is up, a contract may be put in place to continue to sell them in the anthologies and to also offer them as “single sell” .99 offerings, as well.


I just had three of my stories come up for that option this past month: ALWAYS AND FOREVER, which first appeared in A HALLOWEEN COLLECTION last year; THE LAST OF HER KIND, which came out in A MYSTERY/SUSPENSE COLLECTION; and A HEART FOR A HEART, which was first offered in A VALENTINE COLLECTION.


This growing short story market has been a great way for readers to sample different authors in sub-genres they love, or take a chance on an author that maybe they’ve never read before in a sub-genre they wouldn’t normally read—because the price is right. At just .99 a story, you really can’t go wrong.


All of my short stories are available on Nook, through Barnes and Noble, and on Kindle, through Amazon. Here are some covers and blurbs for the latest short stories of mine that have come out this past month as single sell offerings. I hope you enjoy!

THE LAST OF HER KIND (paranormal suspense):


An old Victrola is the cherished possession of Cassie’s grandmother. Her father also seems oddly attached to the antique phonograph, but her new stepmother detests it and wants it gone. Grandmother is sick, probably dying, and Cassie will be the only one left in the house who sees through Trish as Cassie’s brothers no longer live with them.


Then Cassie discovers a wonderful, yet frightening secret. Will her new knowledge save her family or destroy it?

ALWAYS AND FOREVER (contemporary “2nd chance at love”):

At a children’s Halloween carnival, a Gypsy fortuneteller predicts a new love for both Cindy and Gage. When the two meet over a poorly carved pumpkin, love flickers to life and the stars begin to align.


But the odds of finding a new love later in life seem insurmountable and the prophecy seems too good to be true. After all, Gage has been burned before and Cindy doesn’t believe in fortunes or second chances.


Will doubt overshadow their attraction or has love already been set in motion? Can the star-crossed pair put their faith in the love that was foretold? Can they believe in each other?

A HEART FOR A HEART (sweet romance):

Kiera is all set to welcome Cory into her home as a foster child. Orphaned and with a learning disability, Cory is looking forward to living with his tutor. Until his uncle shows up…

Sam Tiger returns from military duty to find his deceased brother’s son being taken in by a stranger. The boy needs his family and Sam is it. He never expects the tutor to stand up to him and want to keep Cory. Then the worst happens—he finds himself attracted to Kiera.

FOR A COMPLETE LIST OF ALL CHERYL’S WORK, CLICK HERE:
Cheryl's Amazon Author Page:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002JV8GUE


Thanks to Cheryl for sharing her amazing stories with us today. Please return on Wednesday for a visit from Kellie Kamryn.

Thanks for stopping by!

OF TRUTH AND LEGEND BY EARL STAGGS

Earl Staggs

Please welcome a long time friend, Earl Staggs. He and his lovely wife, Carol, are transplants to North Central Texas from the Baltimore area. Earl and I belong to a small mystery writers group. His stories are always well written and often humorous. Earl is a spare bones writer who hates excessive adjectives and adverbs, so I feel it's my duty as a friend to throw in very and really to taunt him if he's going to read my work. What are friends for, after all?

His official bio reads: Derringer Award winning author Earl Staggs has seen many of his short stories published in magazines and anthologies. He served as Managing Editor of Futures Mystery Magazine and as President of the Short Mystery Fiction Society. His novel MEMORY OF A MURDER earned thirteen Five Star reviews online at Amazon and BN. His column "Write Tight" appears in the online magazine Apollo’s Lyre. He is also a contributing blog member of Murderous Musings and Make Mine Mystery. He hosts workshops for the Muse Online Writers Conference and the Catholic Writers Conference Online and is a frequent speaker at conferences and writers groups. Email: earlstaggs@sbcglobal.net Website: http://earlwstaggs.wordpress.com

Here's Earl:

OF TRUTH AND LEGEND

I love history, particularly about people, how they lived, loved, and died and what they did to earn a place in the archives of life. I learn about people from the past by reading books and watching movies and TV. The facts and truths are there, documented by stories handed down through generations or recorded by historians and writers.

But sometimes facts and truths foster legends and once born, legends develop an enduring life of their own. We may call them alternate truths, other possibilities, or myths. Was there really a King Arthur, or was he only a compilation of various myths and legends? Did George Washington really chop down that cherry tree, or is that only a legend forever linked to the truth?

How do we separate legends from truths? Fortunately, as a writer, I don’t have to. The truth is, I don’t want to. My job as a writer is to write an interesting and entertaining story, and it doesn’t matter if it is based on the truth, a legend, or a combination of both.

Available at Amazon

Not too long ago, I came across a legend that fascinated me, and I used it as the basis for a short story I called “Where Billy Died.” It could be my best story ever. It’s also one I talk about when people ask the question all writers are asked:

“Where do you get your ideas?”

Here’s what I tell them.

My wife and I took a day trip with friends to the small town of Hico, Texas, a couple years ago. There I learned a local legend. They contend and have convincing evidence that one of the most famous outlaws of the old west did not die at the wrong end of a gun as history books claim. History claims Billy the Kid was shot and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in Old Fort Sumner, New Mexico, when Billy was only twenty-one years old.

Not true, according to the Hico legend. They claim Billy lived out his final years there and died in 1950, a month after his ninetieth birthday. I visited the museum devoted to him and stood on the exact spot where they say he dropped dead of a heart attack. The museum has pictures of him when he lived there under the name “Brushy Bill” Roberts. There are newspaper articles and write-ups covering his attempts to obtain the pardon from the state of New Mexico which had been promised him many years before. There are also stories there about how he eluded death that night in Old Fort Sumner and wound up in Hico some sixty years later.

 It didn’t matter to me whether Billy died in New Mexico at age twenty-one, or in Texas at age ninety.


I was fascinated by the legend and knew I had to use it in a story someday.

“But,” I reminded myself, “you don’t write westerns.”

That’s true. I don’t. Not that I won’t someday, but for now, I write contemporary mystery stories. That meant I had to come up with a contemporary story incorporating the Hico legend.

It took a while, but I eventually came up with a story about a modern day skip tracer named Jack who travels from Philadephia to Hico to bring back a young bail jumper named Billy Joe Raynor. Piece of cake, thinks Jack, until he discovers he has a tail. The chief bonebreaker for a New Jersey mobster has followed Jack to Hico. Is it because Jack beat up the mobster’s brother, or because of something young Billy Joe did before he skipped town? Jack only knows he’s tangled with the hulking bruiser before and will have to again. Jack doesn’t know he’ll also get tangled up in Hico’s legend about another young outlaw named Billy and that the past and present will merge in a surprising conclusion. Three different legends surrounding Billy’s life and death are mentioned. One of them saves Jack from his predicament in Texas and fixes his marriage problems back in Philadelphia.

If you have an opportunity to read “Where Billy Died,” I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Available at Amazon

and at Smashwords

Legends abound, forever intermingled with truth in history, and they’re often more provocative and interesting than what may really have happened. One legend, for example offers that Butch Cassidy may have escaped his storied death in Bolivia and lived to a ripe old age back in the US. Another one proposes that John Wilkes Booth lived in Texas many years after that night at Ford’s Theater.

Are these legends true or merely fanciful variations of the truth born and nurtured over the years? I don’t know and, as a writer, I don’t care. To me, they are more of the tempting nuggets in the gold mine of history begging to be written. I hope I live long enough to write more of them.

Earl Staggs

“Where Billy Died” available for $1.99 at http://untreedreads.com/

Read two stories for free at: http://earlwstaggs.wordpress.com/


“The Day I Almost Became A Great Writer” – Loaded with laughs and a message to writers.


“White Hats and Happy Trails” – About the day I spent with a boyhood idol, Roy Rogers.